Leaving Starlight

You know the thing you wish you had said? The coherent thought that comes to you a few hours too late? This is a story about words like those.

Last night, our neighbor invited Olivia and I to the Starlight theater to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang with her. We picnicked, took silly pictures, laughed about Child Catchers and Truly Scrumptious, and generally enjoyed ourselves until just after the intermission. 

Olivia clutched her stomach. "It hurts. It doesn't matter what I do, it just hurts."

Olivia tried to soldier through it; she desperately wanted to see the end. But with two scenes to go, she decided she was in too much pain to enjoy the rest. 

On the way out to the car, Olivia, nearly in tears, asks, "Mommy, why did God make me sick tonight?"

Immediately, my neighbor says (kindly), "Olivia, God didn't make you sick. These things just happen."

Olivia is still looking at me. "But, why tonight? Why couldn't He make me sick last night when I wasn't doing something important?"

I said something to her about God making her body very well, and something about medicine, etc., etc. I said all this on autopilot, because what I was really thinking is that I don't know how to talk casually about the sovereignty of God in front of my neighbor who had recently been sick with cancer. How do you walk next to someone who has been through so much, who denies that God has anything to do with the painful things of life, and how do you tell her that you believe He does? 

"For if He causes grief, then He will have compassion according to His abundant lovingkindness. . . Who is there who speaks and it comes to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both good and ill go forth? Why should any living mortal, or any man, offer complaint in view of his sins?" (Lamentations 3:32, 37-39)

Here's what I wish I would have said to these two people that I love: God is good. Even when we don't understand why something has happened to break our hearts, God is never careless with us or with our pain. We can trust in His wisdom, and when that gets hard, we can trust in His goodness.

"This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'Therefore, I have hope in Him.' " (Lamentations 3: 21-24)

Olivia, you may not have the Starlight, but the Lord--your Creator, your Saviour, your best friend, your King-- the Lord is yours.